grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i don't know what to do. i feel so down right now. (and have since i found out about my best friend and the infector)

well, this past weekend i went camping with some friends. an ex of mine from 10 yrs ago happens to be friends with my friends boyfriend. all four of us shared one tent, 2 air beds. me and the ex got one bed together.... we both went to bed around the same time. we stay up for a while talking. we ended up making out, got pretty hot and heavy.... and then he wanted to move on farther. i ended up breaking down, and telling him i have herpes. so i couldn't have sex with him. he was awesome. he held me, petted my head, and told me it would be ok. after i stopped crying, we started to talk about the risks, and how to lower the risks. we kissed some more, and went to sleep. he held me most of the night. he made me feel good about myself. my friend hopes me and him get together. lol. who knows. he didn't freak out, but take it slow... and see if there is something there.

well i gotta head to work soonish. so bye for now.