men suck ass

well, things between me and marvin are over. he has been avoiding me since wensday.... we finally talked saturday. he's been hanging out with his ex girlfriend, who is visiting from out of state. i guess he feels things for her. fine and dandy. but making me wait for 4 days, and just being an ass is just childish. when we did talk, he pretty much told me this was not a serious relationship, we were just "testing the waters" with each other, and that we never said we couldn't see other people. well to me, if i'm with someone for 3 months, it's a relationship. one time we were joking around, and i said i would have to tell my other boyfriend. he looked at me, and said that he hopes i don't really have someone else other than him. i said that i don't, that he was the only one in my life. so there, i took it as an understanding that we were only seeing each other, no one else.

but then he got upset about the possibility of him having herpes. he has had a bump (pimple like thing) near the head of his penis for the last 2 weeks. it doesn't hurt, burn or itch.... so i keep telling him he needs to get tested. the only way to know for sure is to get tested. that he's only stressing himself out, and he may not even have anything to worry about. then he said, that this situation would be the biggest regret of his life... and that if he has it, who would want him..... he was saying this to me... i've been dealing with this for 9 months now. i asked him, does that mean that i'm the biggest regret of his life, and he didn't say anything. and then i told him, that it isn't the end of his life, it could be worse, and that i appreciated every thing he has done. it proved to me that people still want to be with me, that i'm still worthy of love and affection.

but all in all, he said his behavior was not excusable. he should have told me about everything earlier. that he does care about me, he likes me, and i'm a really cool chick. and very dateable. it's just his heart is somewhere else. which i'm ok with... i understand everything he's feeling. from the rekindled feelings for an ex to the fears and bad stigma of herpes. but he just should of all this days ago. instead i was left there, confused, upset, and hurt.

well, i got to get back to work now... yay.... preschool age children... lol. bye for now