blarg

well, i still don't know whats going on with alex. today it's 3 weeks since i last saw and talked with him. i'm really concerned about him. but i will know nothing more until he calls me back. and it's not even about what "we" are. i just want to know that he is alive and doing as well as he can.

out side of that. marvin and i have been hanging out more. kinda picking up where we left off. lots of physical acts.... and just hanging out. i really like him, but that is nothing new. i've liked him for a while now. but i thought with him returning to his ex, that alex and i were meant to be. i guess not. marvin and his ex are no longer. (other wise i wouldn't be doing all the naughtiness that i have been) i've been thinking more and more that i really do want to be with him, but i don't know what he is feeling towards me. i know he likes me, i know we have a lot of fun together, and i know he cares about me.... but in what sense? as friends.. as something more... or is it just friends that fuck. i'm hoping i can come up with the guts to ask him. also, i know a lot of my friends are not fond of him. so am i really willing to deal with that on top of everything? (and i thought my teen years were confusing)

oh! finally got my period! yippy!!! about a month ago marvin and i slept together, the condom broke.... well just about 2 days later, i took that plan b one step pill. up until this week, everything was fine. then my time of month was late.... by 5 days. so i took a pregnacy test, it came out that there was no baby, but still no period. this morning, marvin and i were messing around. after finishing, he went to the bathroom to remove the condom. calls me in there, and there was blood on it.... i was so happy! no more worries! and we both got a good laugh out it.

well i guess that is it for now. write more later.