what the fuck?

well hello, and welcome. this is my first time i'm blogging about something very serious, and something i have to deal with the rest of my life.

this past thrusday i found out that a guy i slept with has herpes 2. (genital herpes) well, earlier that week i noticed a small pimple like bump down there. so i've been thinking about it all week, before talking with him. so when i got the call, i just knew what the bump was. i cried. i cussed a lot! i was pissed, and didn't understand why this happened to me.

my official appointment is on tuesday. but i know i have it. there are more sores. one is now a open sore. classic signs. and my god, it fucking hurts! it's hard to sit, or to pee..... (my male friend who was kind of enough to share this with me, only got it on the staff of his penis. so it wasn't as bad) back to my appointment, all the appointment is going to do, is have my condition on paper, and write me a presciption.

i think i'm handling it pretty well though. i still get up set, and cry. but it's been 3days of me obbessing over this. so i'm just live with it. be who i am. I AM NOT HERPES! I HAVE IT, AND I WILL LIVE THROUGH IT! i'm trying to keep my sprits up. most of my closest friends know. and i found out a few more of my friends who have it, and i never knew. so it'll be ok. i know i'm not a slut, i don't sleep around, and i'm normally pretty protective of my body. so, it happened. i fucked up a bit. we all do. some just get off better than others. i was the unlucky one.

i'm still debating if i tell my family. i've always been the "good one". i don't have kids, i have my own apartment, i went to college, got my associates degree, i work as a lead teacher for a 4 and 5 yr. old preschool class. i'm doing ok. i'm not a druggie, or a drunk. i pay all my bills on my own, and on time....etc. all of a sudden, i sleep with a friend, and this happens......
so, it will be hard to tell them. not that they wouldn't except me, and love me. hell, i know they would support me, and be there when needed. but my family has the biggest mouths! the city would know what's going on. and i rather not be labeled with "the girl with herpes" so right now, it's only the most trusted of my friends who know.

well that's all for now. come agian if you wish.