well then....

well i have discovered that marvin really enjoys porn.... and nothing that even resembles me. i'm a bigger girl, very busty, very curvy.... these chicks he looks at are very thin... petite, no breasts (or next to none) i guess i shouldn't worry... but sex has been less than it ever was with us, he's never in the mood.... then seeing these images i think maybe he's not all that into me physically. that i don't turn him on.

all this makes me miss my time with another. i never felt like i wasn't good enough, sexy enough, or anything bad. i was told that i was like a goddess... that i was beautiful.... that our memories would last forever. but events of my life now restrict me from even attempting to rekindle old flames. i miss being free of all the things that make my life more complicated.

i guess this rant is about how i want to feel wanted, sexy, beautiful, and appreciated. well i guess this is all for now.